Trial and error

My sister and I are always complaining about meeting Mr. Right/Mr.Big/Mr. Aiden, is there even such a thing? We had been contemplating online dating for a long time but too embarrassed to do so. I finally tried it. I was so excited about it; the questions that meant something to me, the % to determine your love match and enemy, plus so many choices (people, its like shopping). To make a long story short, I thought I met my match. Yes I said 'I thought'. It came pretty close though. It ended before it even began.  She too has tried this. She met someone - it was going well, then it became complicated, then uncomplicated and then love interest gone. Online dating can also be too easy for us to be so darn picky. Are you dating 2 or 3 people at a time? Sucks for the ones we left hanging. If this one didn't work, move on to the next. What happened to trying?

So here is a chance to get out there and work up the nerves to try a different scene.  Once a week, we will try approaching someone without our liquid courage.

We do welcome comments, advice, solutions, and your own stories of talking to someone in a coffee shop, bookstore and/or grocery stores.  Does this approach work?

Now is now. Live it.

A friend of mine and I got together for our usual one night a week for drinks at a local pub (we like to pretend we are Lewis and Clark, Explorers of locals pubs and bars in San Diego).

We came across an irish pub called Conways Irish Pub in Carmel Mountain Ranch.  It was an interesting scene.  Renee use to live in Little Italy and has become accustomed to the downtown scene on a Friday and Saturday night where people show up in their snazziest outfit, looking good, and smelling good.  Here, there is a 8:2 ratio of guys and gals, where the men come after a long week of their 9-5er and the women are letting loose.  A good mix of ages ranging from mid 20's to mid 50's.  I'd like to say it was a good crowd.  We were approached by a middle age man that had been there for a few hours.  He was quite amusing, asked how we were, complimented us, told us he would leave us alone and then stood there staring at us for what felt like 10 minutes. We were amused.  The bartender* was amused. 

We typically have our usual talks about our life, relationships, the struggles and what we would like to accomplish for the future.  Lately, it feels like our chats have been about the men in our lives.  For instance, Dee is dealing with her dad and why he picked up and left her mom after 30 years of marriage.  Renee, on the other hand is dealing with a new issue - trust and whether someone you have been with for years can really change.  And I, cannot seem to grasp or hold onto a relationship, dismiss men who are interested and want what I can't have.  We'll save these topics for another time.  But this time, it quickly changed to why can't we just enjoy the present time.  Why do we constantly worry about the future, the changes we need to make and dwell on our unhappiness.  And when the future comes, we'll look back and wonder why we did not enjoy our youth.  We really are okay.  We all have the needs we want and we should appreciate what we do have before its too late.

Here we are, 2 good friends without botox injections, still considered young and fresh, sitting at a bar and enjoying a couple of beers on a Friday night. Life is great.

This is just a reminder when we have our days, because we do and we will dwell, over-think, and worry...
 we need to Live in the Present, Enjoy the Moment and take advantage of our Damn Good Looks!  :)



*How come bartenders, bouncers, and the busboys at the bars start to look so darn attractive?  Its like we want them to save us but they just smile their sweet smile like they understand our pain and that does it for us.

Names have been changed to protect The Dreamer, Hollywood, The Obnoxious, and The Closet Ghetto.

First let me start by introducing my circle of friends.

Celeste
I am a 30 year Punky Brewster and when asked "So at what age should we stop shopping in the junior section?"  My response is, "I do not know, you are asking someone who is wearing turquoise and black striped tights and a home-made maroon gerber daisy in her hair."  I come up with random ideas, a new invention and a business concept that changes each day.   To be honest, each time I come up with an idea, I actually picture myelf making millions and invited by talk show hosts, like Oprah and Tyra, discussing the secrets of my success.  

La Noche
She is my sister, best friend, and also my editor.  She has been living in LA for almost 4 years now and is loving the city life.  She has transformed from awkward young girl with teeth my father could not stand looking at and hair that we tried to iron (a hand iron for clothes) ourselves because it looked like a lion's mane to Ms. Hollywood in skinny jeans, ankle boots, and new tops she purchases on a weekly basis.

Dee
The more to love, rambunctious, over the top and sometimes obnoxious, queen of all queens, princess of all princesses, is my friend Dee, whom I have been friends with for over 10 years.  She has the confidence of Naomi Campbell and the heart, once she feels bad, of gold.  A serial dater, a new flavor for each week, and has no problem asking a guy "So what do you think of me?"  "I know we've only had one date but where do you see us in a few months, am I marriage material?"  and sends text messages asking "if you see us only as friends?  Does that mean friends with benefits because I don't mind."

Renee 

She is the "does this look good with tights, I could wear this with tights, and I know I should donate this black cheerleader skirt that I bought back in 1997 but I could pair this up with tights right?" type of girl.  We met in corporate America and became instant friends.  Well in our mind and each time we passed, we just knew we would be instant friends, it just took 2 years for it to happen.   In fact, we were in a club called Aubergine in downtown San Diego, dressed to impress and waiting to use the washroom.  Someone had dropped their blackeyeliner on the floor and Renee picks up the eyeliner and said "Ooh a mac eyeliner.  Nice."  and puts it in her purse.  She looks over at me and says, "Oh, do you think I'm ghetto because it is Mac and all you have to do is sharpen it and it'll be as good as new."  At that moment I knew we would great friends.  She is the closet ghetto but if she see her, she dresses and speaks with such sophistication.